The Curse of Circumstance in the Kitchen

At every turn, I am thwarted in my efforts to defeat Rachael Ray as Be’elzeboss and become the King of Cooking.

First the lack of sizable containers prevents quality sweet tea.

Next, not so much the lack of Rice Krispies (Smacks work OK) but instead the lack of pure marshmallows and forced substitution of a blasphemous half-mallow half-strawberry mix prevents Rice Krispy Treats.

And tonight, I was almost done with my most daunting undertaking yet: Creamy Garlic Mashed Potatoes. But they have to be mixed on “low.” And the mixer we had only worked on “Jet Engine.” So instead of fluffy and light mashed potatoes, I ate thick soup. My roommates like it as a bread spread.